ADVENTURAS EN ESPAÑOL (PARTE 1)

La cosa es, no hablo nada además ingles. Y, yo nunca vi es como una problema, sólo un detalle poquito. Sin embargo, cuando mi amigo de España dijo, "how does it feel to be the only person here who only speaks one language." Esto continúa a resonará en me. Es verdad, pero, esta no se hago mi una persona mal.

Pues, de alguna manera, yo no siento bien con mi acciones sin saber una otra idioma, que incluso pensamiento en un diferente manera y múltiples perspectivas. Cuando yo considerando las condiciones futuras de nuestro mundo, y el conexiones la múltiple creado cada día y cada año, el mundo se hace más pequeña y el valor de idioma aumenta.  La comunicación con todo el mundo es ahora una prioridad para mantener un estado de significado a todo.

 Ahora, siento contento con mi palabras nuevo, el dirección de mi atención, y siento feliz con que entiendo un Español poco (ya sea en musicá, películas, o mi amigos discutiendo animadamente, como siempre.)

Para poder pensar, escribir, y comunicarse con otras de una cultura diferente es de increíble importancia. Conocí muchas gente de España quién yo quiero tanto, y, quién son espera que sea en mi vida para siempre.

Español es no mi idioma primero, ni segundos, o algo mas. Y, yo no se el dirección por cual a dondé ir desde aquí ahora.

Puedo sólo promesa voy a tratar. No puedo hago nada mas, pero esto es muy imporante, y algo cual es con mi siempre, y even though I am constantly growing y no puedo apenas be contento con mi ropa para mas de un mes.......pensamientos en lenguaje siempre están ahí. Y, esto es wonderful.

i've been home for just over a month. at this moment it is still too difficult to write objectively over my life since august. i can't paint a vivid picture because the memories and still too fresh in my mind and feel i am almost still living it even if being home is the rudest awakening.

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how do you convince yourself of this experience. i cannot put into words the ways that i felt. the thing i am sure of is it was the happiest months in my entire life. it's impossible to describe the moments that weigh the heaviest. a montage sticks in my mind, but no phrases mold together to create them verbally. i see peacock curtains around my windows, the white world illuminated outside. alberto and martin are sleeping in my bed and i get a call from alex that says it is snowing. i tell them so and they run outside to dance in the snow. spaniards reacting to something so normal was beautiful. i see lucia cooking pasta at 5am after returning home from a club. falling in the snow at the curve of the houses with corinne's fucking birthday cake. yelling at her from across bjornkulla the time we'll meet for dinner after simultaneous naps. aitor shares his soup with me. i share tea. we fight with marshmallows and i take cover behind the fridge. martin gets angry. he smokes a cigarette alone. gruñon. alberto pushes me to the snow. we fall together because it's funny. snow angels. georgia angels.  so we go to my room. the hookah. living to the sounds of the xx. in the earlier moments, we worshipped the sun. sitting outside reading textbooks, or a barbecue, or cuddling with blankets on benches around the hookah and talking about nearly everything. "erasmus life." moments when we knew the end was near. party elevator. the last party elevator. the last kitchen party. the last time i'll be in a club legally for another year. public transportation conversations of "i won't miss you. i dont miss people'' but maybe i am just overemotional because i miss incredibly too much.  the asian in the kitchen. "sorry". nights of okalimotxo and aitor kissing father HAHA. sharing cigarettes with thierry. poppy. capou. bus partner. i love you. spending hours in super markets. candy isles. individual ones. the french with their vodka. there is something about french people that is so endearing. HELLO CITY HALL! allez. cold walks around the city. i was lost. i called joakim. the statue of the warm woman. i touch her stomach. i look at the boats on the water. or maybe they are ferries. it's culture either way.  i love you. i love you. i love you stockholm. i will be so glad to see you in the sun.

MOON PALACE, PAGE 30 "POWERLESS TO INSANITY"

I had to convince myself that i was no longer real, and the result was that all reality began to waver for me. things that were not there would suddenly appear before my eyes, then vanish. a glass of cold lemonade, for example. a newspaper with my name in the headline. my old suit lying on the bed, perfectly intact. once i even saw a former version of myself blundering around the room, searching drunkenly in the corners for something he couldn't find. these hallucinations lasted only an instant, but they would continue to resonate inside me for hours on end. then there were the periods when i simply lost track of myself. a thought would occur to me, and by the time i followed it to its conclusion, i would look up and discover that it was night. there was no way to account for the hours i had lost. on other occasions  i found myself chewing imaginary food, smoking imaginary cigarettes, blowing imaginary smoke rings into the air around me. those wer the worst moments of all, perhaps, for i realized then that i could no longer trust myself. my mind had begun to drift, and once that happened, i was powerless to stop it.

TENACITY

I'm twenty years old and there is so much i want to do

something like
turn off my lights
and now there are blue lights
put on bon iver or something that makes me think of amsterdam
(sarah, martin. get free. ride bikes. patricio on the beach. sugary waffles with white chocolate frosting. obama winning. wet floors. open windows. naked.)
take me there.

i want to dye my hair. purple again.
i need to buy soup and noodles. also peanut butter because i haven't had peanut butter in six months.

what sounds really great is to finish rereading moon palace. my god it is such a marvelous book. smoke something, underline everything. "powerless to insanity"

i'd like to do something like not move for the remainder of today. just watch doctor who since i am so far behind. i miss doctor who

maybe i should start by doing the dishes
or taking out the trash (there are three bags piled by the door. i feel like im always taking out the trash.)

put a shirt on
finish this sentence........

JUST BIRTHDAY THOUGHTS

the cat's zen is so fresh
always real
bliss
pink slime
suburbs.

my chairs sank and disappeared, my desk atrophied into empty space.
but the cat persevered
and that is why i like the cat
and that is why i like you.