25 July 2014

DESDE VIERNES: EL CUATRO DE JULIO

Desde viernes, el cuatro de Julio,
Y el domingo

there’s nothing quite like missing someone you barely know
or like the feeling of learning someone new (their voice, their movements, their smell, their words, their past, their future.)

the unsynchronized and unknown touch of a body you haven’t memorized yet. the tracing of collarbones, rib bones, leg kisses, slow kisses on quiet and empty city streets

your grey sweatshirt hangs off of me. my arms hang off of me. my words fall out of me. my mind rifles through the sentences you’re spurting. because I know enough not to give in this easily. it’s surreal; all of the moments feel too good right now. if only you knew how hard i struggle to connect with anything. and right now i’m trying half as hard as usual and i can still feel something.


the waitress delivers our mojitos in slow motion. the world begins again. americans talk behind us. we’re in my bed and you raise your arm above you. you’re practicing your brain being stronger than your body. you say you do it when you can’t sleep.  you say i have to read your poems. i let you borrow moon palace.  i can’t get the door unlocked. maybe you have to stay. you leave an unfamiliar taste in my mouth and on my skin. 





it's been one month and i'm never going to get moon palace back.

20 July 2014

BLINDLY LOOKING FORWARD

"caught in the symmetry of your mind" whispers, then
walk your hands into me
what a coldness i feel for you
so fearlessly i touched you
so thoughtlessly i spoke to you
loving and living impulsively
just listen, baby.

to a word that hasn't been in my vocabulary since
and now i'm still working on a definition of the word "love"
how can you redefine anything so strongly once felt and since faded
how can you learn again how to move on top of the world

who is it now spilling wine on your bed?
stealing half of your cigarettes and all of your time?
wiping away what is left of your kisses?
who's getting your morning sex before your morning class?
is your body still wet from the shower?
your mouth still stinging from toothpaste?

sometimes i feel a great black wave of you
and how i spent years putting all my thoughts into one feeling

and again
i'm touching the safeness of your back
like breathless bodies on the edge.

15 July 2014

what if there was a machine that recorded all your thoughts all day. when u read through it would you have forgotten some of the lines? would there be things that u didnt even know u'd thought? where do all the missing thoughts go? 


13 July 2014

you're like the bug you can see flit around your room in the white light of your computer screen once you have turned in for the night. you spend good minutes watching the thing helplessly, or perhaps carelessly, bounce into the illumination of the glass again and again.

it's impossible sleep with the thing buzzing around above your head. this is my bed and i won't be able to sleep until you leave.

DON'T LET THE WICKED CITY GET YOU DOWN

the sickness rolled through me in great waves. after each wave it would fade away and leave me limp as a wet leaf and shivering all over an then i would feel it rising up in me again, and the glittering white torture-chamber tiles under my feet and over my head and on all four sides closed in an squeezed me to pieces.

09 July 2014

WATCHING THE ONLY WAY OUT DISAPPEAR

my fears don't linger. they have downright consumed me.
my fears have consumed me.