WHERE BEAUTY ISN'T

There is nothing beautiful or delightful about waking up wondering how to make it through another day. There is no entitlement or enlightenment that comes from bleeding into a bathroom sink, relying on pills to sleep, daydreaming of crashing the car. Walking, terrified of seeing a familiar face and the hello or conversation that follows. Purposely diverting eyes into the ground or up into the clouds.  Then, replaying that unsettling interaction for months. There is no beauty in collapsing into bed after the day is over of pure emotional and mental exhaustion. There is no beauty in feeling incapable. We have to stop romanticizing anxiety and depression. Sadness should never be encouraged or idolized.